Dr Sibu Qhogwana

Sadness can be a challenging emotion to process, because it demands a lot from the system. As a result a natural response to sadness is to avoid it, because we want it to disappear as quickly as possible.  Instead of avoiding or denying sadness, we need to learn to process it as an emotion. After all, like all the other emotions sadness is also a thermometer for our mental health, as it provides us with useful feedback regarding our mental wellbeing.  We can learn to process sadness in the following ways: 1. Recognise and acknowledge sadness as an emotion: Locate it: How do you know that you are sad?  For example is your mood low?are you feeling drained? 2. Normalise sadness as an emotion: It is okay to feel sad and it is okay to express sadness. It is also okay to name it and it is okay to cry when you are sad.  3. Identify sadness triggers: Where is it coming from?What you have experienced, seen or heard or what have you been thinking about? How have you been think...

A starting point in managing emotions is to normalise and recognise emotions as part of our mind and body system. It is normal to feel and express emotions. Emotions affirm our humanity and can often be resourceful as they provide us with useful feedback that propel us into action or even change. Some emotions are challenging to process, because they demand a lot from the mind-body system, for example anger, sadness and anxiety. This does not mean that we need to deny or avoid these emotions, we also need to recognise them as part of mind-body system.  What we need to be mindful of is the extremes in how emotions are experienced and expressed and how these extremes affect our mental health and our actions. We then need to learn to manage these emotions. We discuss this more next time on the blog. 

We need to be intentional, proactive and consistent in preventing mental health challenges and managing our mental health, through reflecting and reviewing the following areas, which are within our control: Thoughts Thoughts reflect our self-talk, perceptions and interpretations.  How have you been thinking about yourself, other people and the world lately? Are your thoughts hopeful, encouraging and kind? Are they mostly critical and discouraging?  Emotions Emotions communicate what is happening in our system and how we are responding to circumstances around us. Emotions are sometimes a catalyst for the needed change or in maintaining what is working.  What emotions are predominant in your system currently?  Are you sad, anxious, guilty, lonely, angry, overwhelmed and frustrated most of the time? A re you encouraged, relaxed and at peace? Are the current emotions functional for you and those around you? Overall functioning How are you functioni...

1. Be informed  There is a lot information on mental health and mental illness. The information is presented in many ways, from different perspectives and it caters for different needs. There are videos, talks, books articles and blogs on various mental health topics. More importantly there are also opportunities to engage in conversations about mental health through webinars.  You may find the following useful: https://www.sadag.org/ A book by Dr Samke Ngcobo is also useful: Reflections of a Convoluted Mind: A journey with My Mental Illness . I found it on Amazon.  2 .  Introspect Reflecting and evaluating on your own thoughts, attitudes and knowledge about mental health and mental illness is an important step in self-awareness about your own potential to stigmatise others. Self-awareness is sometimes a catalyst for the required change. Once you become aware of how your attitudes and behaviours (covered in our blog last week) perpetuate and promote mental health sti...

Stigma in mental health reflects our beliefs, attitudes and thoughts about mental illness. These manifest through our behaviour towards people with mental health challenges and the language we use to describe their experiences. THOUGHTS AND LANGUAGE Negative assumptions   People who stigmatise others often hold negative assumptions about those they stigmatise. Such assumptions are often baseless and are driven by a lack of understanding of the person and their situation. The person is often blamed  for their condition through using  statements like  “depression is for weak people” or “depression indicates lack of faith” and “African people don’t get depressed”. All these assumptions leave people feeling inferior and put an extra burden on them.  A belief of Immunity  People who have not experienced mental health challenges may believe that they are immune from such.  As a result they distance themselves from people with mental health challenges an...

Stigma is when we blame, judge, prejudice and discriminate people because of characteristics that they have or situations that they are going through. People are often stigmatised for situations that they already find challenging to deal with and sometimes it is situations they cannot change or have temporarily lost control over (i.e. mental health diagnosis like depression, diagnosis of HIV and people living with disabilities). So when we stigmatise people we place an extra burden on their already difficult journey. The following points highlight the impact of stigma on people. 1. Impact on mental health  Stigma results in feelings of isolation, rejection and guilt for people and it can contribute to the development or worsening of mental health challenges like depression and anxiety. 2. Obstacle in help-seeking  When we stigmatise people, it becomes more challenging for them to openly seek help because they fear judgement. As a result they either do not seek help at all or i...

The mourning period may end, but grief remains with us in so many ways. It is not possible to completely let go of someone who has been a part of your life in such a special way.  1. Grief and memory Grief is also about memory and for some people “the end” of grief may feel like one is forgetting about their loved one . So grief is sometimes a way of preserving the deceased through memory. The memories can be pleasant and at times painful, especially when filled with longing for the physical presence of the deceased.  2. Does time heal? We often hear that time heals. I often wonder if it is really time that heals or the mind learns to adjust to life without the deceased because there is no other option? The permanency of death in terms of physical absence gives us no option, but to eventually learn to navigate life in the absence of our loved ones. Sometimes the thought that the deceased would expect their loved one to continue with life in their absence is what may encourage ...

Grief is an emotional and behavioural response experienced because of loss. We have always talked about grief and we need to continue the conversations, especially in the context of many different losses experienced as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.    1. Normalcy of grief    Grief is a normal response to an experience of any kind of loss. A response does not always imply a presence of emotions, as numbness is also a response for some people.    2. Universal yet a unique experience   The experience of grief has some universal elements; however, it can be expressed in many unique ways. It is therefore important that people are allowed to express their grief in ways that are unique and helpful for their journey. Although grief can be a collective experience, it can also be a unique experience because of many factors. In case of loss of a loved one through death, the unique factors are the nature of the relationship with the deceased, ...