Is there an end to Grief?

The mourning period may end, but grief remains with us in so many ways. It is not possible to completely let go of someone who has been a part of your life in such a special way.

1. Grief and memory

Grief is also about memory and for some people “the end” of grief may feel like one is forgetting about their loved one . So grief is sometimes a way of preserving the deceased through memory. The memories can be pleasant and at times painful, especially when filled with longing for the physical presence of the deceased.

2. Does time heal?

We often hear that time heals. I often wonder if it is really time that heals or the mind learns to adjust to life without the deceased because there is no other option? The permanency of death in terms of physical absence gives us no option, but to eventually learn to navigate life in the absence of our loved ones. Sometimes the thought that the deceased would expect their loved one to continue with life in their absence is what may encourage some people to adjust better to the loss.

3. Life Events

Some events in the lives of those who are left behind do trigger a grief response even years after the loss of the loved one. For example getting married when parents are no more, often brings back a sense of longing for their presence to witness and to play their role in the event. Therefore it is not unusual to be emotional during such events.

4. The role of spirituality

Some people interpret death as a way through which people transcend to the spiritual realm and thus continue to be present but in a spiritual form. This interpretation has a potential of making grief lighter and much more bearable for those who believe in it. This belief provides a level of comfort that their loved one may be physically absent but still has a way of connecting with those who are left behind.

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Dr Sibu Qhogwana

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