On parents and children’s career choices

* Parents have been warned and advised against choosing careers for their children. While this comes from a good place of “wanting the best for their children”, this often creates unnecessary stress and tension between parents and children.

* The child often bears most of the stress as they can be torn between choosing their preferred career and avoiding disappointing their parents.

* Parents often get stuck in expecting their children to follow the mainstream or traditional route of establishing a career. This often involves schooling, university or college and finding employment. The challenge with this expectation is that parents often risk overlooking the child’s strengths, passion and gifts that may form a basis of a good foundation for their future career.

* Nowadays parents also sit with the challenge of not only allowing children to chose their careers, but also allowing them to choose from a very diverse and sometimes unconventional range of careers that are completely out of the sphere of traditional careers.

* Here are a few points for parents to reflect on, as they embark on a journey of allowing children to choose their careers.

1. Encourage discipline, consistency and goal setting without determining the goals for your children.

2. Allow them to define success in their own terms and avail yourself to be their guide.

3. They may want to change from their first choice and that is okay. Do discuss your concerns with them but allow space for change. Career choice is not always a straightforward journey. Allow them to make mistakes, some of which may be costly at times. Be supportive in the process.

4. Mourn the loss of what you wished or imagined what your children should take as a career, it is their life at the end.

5. Have conversations with other parents who may have walked the journey, you may find some useful tips in the process.

6. If you are worried that your child may be career confused or unsure, refer them to a career counselor or career psychologist for career guidance and advice.

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